Misquote

Does anyone else see what I see as very disturbing in this quote? No? Maybe you should read it again. Or maybe it's not the quote with which I have a problem, maybe it's who it's accredited to. I heard this quote today in a very different venue, which I'm sure you can guess, and wanted to find a picture of it as I was reflecting on it (I'm an artsy type person, so roll with me). And I stumbled upon this "Version" of it. What was even more disturbing is that there were several variations of this quote, artistically done with hearts and glorious fonts. 

Then there was this one:

Just in case you haven't caught it yet, these two quotes are being poorly attributed. I would like it duly noted for the record that neither Albus Dumbledore nor Abraham Lincoln were the originators of these quotes.  

The actual author:

JESUS

But don't take my word for it.

From the blog "Stuff Christians Like #1364"

9 Prayer Tips:
1. Know that if you have an “unspoken prayer request,” people are going to assume porn.
Sorry, those are the rules. No one assumes you’re unspoken prayer request is about how much volunteer work you’re doing in the homeless community. We assume the worst.
2. Don’t disguise gossip as prayer.
If you pray for your neighbor, “Who recently cheated on her husband with that yoga instructor from Argentina,” you have not prayed. You have gossiped. Quit it.
3. Don’t be the prayer request whisperer.
Know why your prayers continue to go unanswered? Because you speak so softly that even God can’t hear them. (Not sure that’s theologically true, but it feels right.) Speak up when you make a prayer request.
4. Pray with a British accent.
Want that prayer heard? Use a British accent, even God prefers those.
5. Aim for as many “prayer grunts of affirmation” as you can get.
How else will you know the prayer has been effective? If you’ve got a better prayer score method, I am all ears. Especially if you are British.
6. Don’t say “let’s pray” when you mean “let’s make out.”
Maybe this is just for those college students out there, but stop doing this. You know this happens at Baptist colleges. I mean I never did that, but some sinners did. Stop.
7. Don’t make up a prayer request just because everyone else has one.
They’re not lollipops. It’s OK for you not to have one. I promise.
8. Always have background music.
You might have to carry a portable Bluetooth stereo or your iPhone for smaller prayer moments, but trust me, this is key. When people start praying, gently Tomlin that scene.
9. Know which meals to pray before.
Don’t lose your cool in a restaurant. Know if you should pray before or after queso. These things matter.

Oh, yes I did go there...

Cave Painting

So here's another non-update, as I like to call it. I'm still waiting. The Lord has been truly faithful during this time, though. He has taught me so many things about myself and about life in general. I have a few more blogs rolling around my head, which I will write tomorrow. But I have been spending lots of time doing one of my favorite past times, drawing, since I've had so much more time on my hands. I've been working on illustrating the curriculum for the Princess Club, which Amy and I are hoping to publish soon!! (I'll update you on that soon, for all the followers of the Princess Club). I just finished this piece, done in colored pencil, in time to send it with the New Life team from Ohio that is in Anonos right now. It's called Harvest Hands, in honor of Rodney and Cindy. I love you guys and miss you every day!! Pray for the harvest.

The truth behind Barbie's anorexia

I have discovered the true secret behind Barbie's anorexia. It is no secret that the adored doll icon has received a bad rap for her proportions over the years. We've probably all seen or read how if she were made into a life-sized woman her feet would be too tiny to hold up her body and her waist would collapse under the weight of her generous melons. But I think I have discovered the true reason behind it all: she is trying to compete for male attention in a world with a serious lack of decent guys. Even in a fantasy world, it's hard to find a nice quality guy. Let me explain how I came to this conclusion.

The other day I was having coffee with my friend, Jill, when her two girls asked if I would come play Barbie with them. Of course! I love seeing the world through kids eyes. The girls showed me all of the lovely princess Barbies they got for Christmas. There was Belle and Cindy, Brave and the palest of them all who really just needs to get out of the house more, the one who really has to get migraines from all that hair and the one who spends waaaaaay toooo much time at the beach (imagine the amount of sunscreen that redhead must go through!!!). And then they pulled out Charming. Just Charming.

"Where are all the princes?" I asked.
"There's only one," they replied.
"Well, which princess did he marry?"
"All of them. They take turns."

Sheesh. Barbie has the same problem I do. Too many princesses, not enough princes. In the real world, to find a prince, princesses either have to find a handsome prince during college, fight for one at the bar scene, chance encounter one at church, or ford the white-water streams of online dating. Maybe if she's lucky, mutual friends will introduce them in the infamous "Blind Date" scenario.  In the Barbie world I just went to K-Mart. I figured it would be easy to pick up a few more Ken dolls. Would you believe in the aisles and aisles of glittery, organza swathed Barbies, who can be doctors, dancers, Olympic champions, horse whisperers and rock stars, the selection of Kens was severely lacking? 

 Let's see. There were 5 to pick from. The Justin Bieber doll came with his own guitar and autographed album cover. Again, fostering the competition with the young Barbies that would certainly not help Barbie find true LOVE...There was the Twilight Edward doll whose pale face would scare even White away. Plus who wants to marry a 112-year-old. Eww. Next came the Real Prince Charming...but he already came pre-packaged with Cindy.  Again, story of my life. The ever-elusive Charming always seems to already have found his wife. Sheesh. 

 Finally, there they were. Smooshed between the hot pink traveling kits and the mermaid accessory sets, side-by-side as if defending manhood together, there they stood. The Fashionista Kens. Ken and Ryan. Attempting to exude masculinity in the estrogen filled environment. I snatched them up. 

 The next time I went to Jill's I presented each girl with a new man-doll (yeah, that reads as odd as it sounds. I'll leave it in for its awkwardness). I carefully helped them take Ryan and Ken out of their boxes and introduced them for the first time to the ladies. Everything was going so well. Cocktail parties were planned. There was love in the air. I could hear the faint din of wedding bells in the distance. My match-making was so happily coming together...until Ken started karate-chopping the ladies and Ryan discovered he was Belle's brother. Oh, well, the imagination of childhood wins again. 

Ok. Lesson learned. It takes patience and perseverance to wait for just the right Charming to come along. While there seems to be a severe lack of decent men in the world, no matter what you do, you cannot simply go to the store and buy love. It will leave you karate-chopped or with your brother. And Barbie should take a lesson, too. No matter how perfect you think your body is, that's not what really matters to Ken. The right Charming will always look for a quality Princess. Barbie, you're hungry. Go have a cheeseburger.