Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I've been meaning to tell you...

I think it's time I told you all the truth behind one of my biggest secrets. I've tried to keep it quiet for a while, but since I'm moving, I think it's finally time to tell you. I have recently been diagnosed with an incurable disease. It's a fairly newly diagnosed disease that, oddly enough, strikes evenly across all demographics, although more commonly in young women. The symptoms were subtle, but several people commented on them during my time in Costa Rica.Unfortunately, there is no cure. There are things I can do to mask the symptoms, but they may never completely go away. I have to admit, I have FOMO, commonly known as the Fear Of Missing Out. 

Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO), according to the reliable resource, Wikipedia, was first classified in the mid 80's and is a label for the sadness one feels when knowing he/she is missing a good time with loved ones, the worry one feels that memories are being made that he/she will not have, or the anxiety one feels when deciding between multiple equally fun-sounding events. For more information, click this link.

The symptoms were fairly mild in Costa Rica. They mostly were characterized by wanting to do EVERYTHING with teams and be in three places at once. Apparently that is not currently physically possible, although Lord knows I tried. During my transition time in the states, it has become slightly more definitive. My heart wanted to be in Costa Rica, not wanting to miss anything going on there, while I still wanted to be fully involved in Michigan. As the job hunt continued, I was torn as to which direction to go in. If I stayed in Michigan, I would miss out on all the projects, classes and adventures going on in Costa Rica. If I moved back to Costa Rica, I may miss an awesome job opportunity to get back into the medical field. If I moved to Australia to pursue my aspirations to become a kangaroo trainer I could very well miss an opportunity to become a midwife in Honduras!! You can see how much stress that could induce!!

Now my disorder is at an all time high. I am moving across the country. Which means I will be missing SO many things in all the places I love. Weddings in Michigan. Stateside Tico visits. Close friend birthday parties. Random girls nights in downtown Grand Rapids. Etc., Etc., Etc.

But there are a few things that bring me comfort. I know this is where God is calling me next and I know He is going with me. I know I will still be able to keep track of people and what they're up to via facebook. Oh, facebook, what would the post-modern world be without you? (Don't answer that). There is always skype, e-mail, the US Postal Service, airplanes, and the pony express. The biggest comfort is knowing that we are on the short end of the time stick. Meaning while we may live 80 or even 100 years here, that is nothing in comparison to all eternity. I can't wait to get to heaven and see Jesus...and spend FOREVER with all my friends and family all in one place. Selfish? I think not. Maybe then my FOMO will finally be cured ;)

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